Unknown

 5:00 P.M.

Writing this is a much needed relief today.

Last night was a rough night for me. I went to work and everything was fine but as soon as I got home my whole mood shifted. I didn't feel like the same person I was just 20 minutes before hand. I asked if Eli could come over and got told they weren't sure, then about a hour later I got a definite no. That made me cry truthfully. I'm not all too sure why but it did. I cried for a while, about how none of what is happening to my family and I is fair. How I want my hunny home so damn bad, it hurts that he's not. I've been staying strong but sometimes I break down and cry about it to relieve some pain.

After I found out Eli couldn't come over I went to my bed and laid down. I was completely done with the day. I was exhausted and just done. I set an alarm for 7:50 pm because I had a video call with my hunny. I woke up at 7:40 pm went to the bathroom and thought I had slept through the night that I missed the call and started crying until I checked the time. I got on the call at 8 pm when it was supposed to happen but my hunny never showed and I still haven't heard from him yet. I pray to the lord he's on the call tonight. 

That seemed to be the cherry on top of my night. I then laid in bed awake for a hour and 45 minutes to see if he would call and he never did.. I couldn't do anything about it so I just decided to go back to sleep. I slept through the night and woke up in an okay mood but it seemed like as soon as I got to work my mood changed. I just didn't feel like myself. I couldn't tell what I felt like. I felt tired, sad, and moody all in one. A "bleh" day you could say. After first break things got a little better and I was in a bit of a better mood but I never was "happy". 

I got off work and came home, I don't have to work tomorrow again. YAY. Kind of anyway. I put on a cozy sweater and leggings that are big on me, as well as a jacket because I'm actually pretty cold today. Now I'm sitting here writing this waiting on Eli to come over because they said he could today.. That was at 3:30 pm. Then at 4:30 pm they said they were eating and that he would be over shortly but here I am still waiting... 

I really hope today ends on a good note. 

That's all for now...

Chetta!