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  1:14 P.M.

        Lately all I've been making is what seems like stupid decisions. Last night I went to take money to my hunny and I took little Eli. He's only 8 mind you & I took him at 2 in the morning. I should have stayed home & waited till later in the morning. I should have known better, he's going to be my stepson as soon as I officially marry his dad, & I need to start thinking more like a parent. That's not something a parent would do. 

        My hunny just called & after he talked to little Eli he just hung up.. He didn't ask to talk to me again like he normally would.. He told me he's not mad but I can't help but overthink. He always asks to talk to me again so he can tell me he loves me. 

        I hate being so over emotional because I cry constantly even if everything is perfectly fine. I feel like it's not. I'll sit & torture myself with overthinking until I get reassured multiple times that it's okay & that I didn't do anything wrong. Lol @ me currently that's why I put that in there. 

        I hope my unemployment goes through soon too. I hate feeling like I need to worry about money. I do. I hate wondering if I'm going to be able to pay my bills on time. I'm ready to be back to work so that I don't have to worry constantly. I wanna go back to working my 7am-3pm Monday-Friday. I want to go back to bringing in money. 

I'm truthfully just so tired.

But God is good & all will be okay. I know it.

        At the end of the day I'll still put a smile on my face because my good Lord allowed me to live this life & didn't take it away from me like he so easily could have. AMEN.

Chetta :)