BlogSpot

7:07 P.M.           Today was a pretty good day. I started a new job last Monday so I've already been there for a week! I actually like it there the people are so nice. Everyone actually talks to me unlike the last place. The money at the last place was nice but at this place as long as I work everyday the hours they want I make 15$ a hour!! So really it's not too much less than the other place.            Eli has been over everyday this week. He brings me so much joy honestly, I love the fact that he likes to come hang out with me. That we are getting some kind of bond since I'm his soon to be stepmom! Crazy!            When I think about it I never thought that I'd be where I'm at in life now. If you told me all this would happen to me back when I was 19-20, I would have thought you were crazy. I found the love of my life and I'm working on growing my little family with him. I would hav...

 7:36 P.M.           Today I got a text from my temp agency & the factory was delayed another week so I just told them to find me a new job because I cannot continue to sit here and not get paid any kind of money. My unemployment hasn't been approved yet, my bills are falling behind & I'm completely stressed about all of it. I now work from 5am-130pm for $14 a hour with a $1 attendance bonus a hour. I'm just ready to go back to work. God Bless.           The only things that help take my mind off anything is playing sims, or watching some kind of tv show. I've been hooked on the tv show Shameless & I'm not sure why because it's not my usual type of tv show but I like the idea of how many kids live in the house & how they can come & go as they please.            Eli just called me a buttox? I'm not even sure what that is. He also just told me that he has held his p...

  9:18 P.M.           Yesterday was a crazy day & to be honest, it was an extremely rough/ sad day.            We got up at 7 am in the morning to go visit grandma in Indiana for us it's a two and a half hour drive. We drive all the way down there even after grandma's sister told us not to. When we got there grandma was getting ready to leave.. Why would she say we couldn't come down but it's okay for everyone else to come pick her up and take her out and spend time with her? I didn't understand but we let her get rushed out of the house anyways. We went back to her house to hang out with her daughter since she still wasn't home, we helped her clean up grandma's house for her visitors this upcoming weekend (not the one we're on, the next one). Her daughter got a call from grandma's sister after knowing that grandma wasn't home (She called grandma's home phone). After we were done we left again, and went to Autumn'...

  1:14 P.M.           Lately all I've been making is what seems like stupid decisions. Last night I went to take money to my hunny and I took little Eli. He's only 8 mind you & I took him at 2 in the morning. I should have stayed home & waited till later in the morning. I should have known better, he's going to be my stepson as soon as I officially marry his dad, & I need to start thinking more like a parent. That's not something a parent would do.            My hunny just called & after he talked to little Eli he just hung up.. He didn't ask to talk to me again like he normally would.. He told me he's not mad but I can't help but overthink. He always asks to talk to me again so he can tell me he loves me.            I hate being so over emotional because I cry constantly even if everything is perfectly fine. I feel like it's not. I'll sit & torture myself with ov...

 2:55 P.M.           Today is a new day, I got to talk to my hunny once already today & I'm always hoping for another time. I'm blessed to have the family I have. I know I should potentially spend more time with them but it's hard to find any motivation to do anything. I wish my love was home, I am way beyond ready.            I'm going to start a home with a lot of kids. 6 kids and 2 adults, it's going to be so much fun. I hope. I am going to make them a poor family who have to make ends meet by doing things from home, like freelancing or painting or even writing. Maybe one from each. The parents, both mom and dad; mom shouldn't have to do it all, will be in charge of cooking dinner and potty training and bathing, everything included in parenting will have to be done. I'm beyond excited. After I'm done writing this blog that's where I'm headed, is to create that family.           I a...

  2:18 P.M.           I didn't go to bed until like 3am because I was up watching "sappy" movies with Autumn & Eli made it to the second movie, lol. I've been up on & off today since 7am, I just couldn't sleep. I had to go take a Covid test this morning at 10 and Autumn had one at 10:15 right after me. I hope I am clear so we can go see grandma this weekend.           It's now 2:21 & I'm patiently awaiting a call from my hunny. I hate feeling like this place he's at is trying to kick him out. I want him home so badly, don't get me wrong Autumn & Eli are great company but its just not the same. I know he'll be home soon. God Bless.           I'm off this whole week and I should hopefully, lord willing, go back to work next week. I'm tired of sitting at home I feel lazy. I need to start walking or something in the mornings or even the evenings, I just need to start doing somethin...

6:53 P.M.           Today we went swimming, at my favorite place in the whole world, the delta pool! I just like how you have more room to swim there. I got to talk to my hunny today while we were there too. Overall, my day's been pretty good. I'm starting to have a killer headache too. I've been getting one everyday & I wonder if it's because of too much screen time. I'm ready for this pizza we just got out of the oven.             Tomorrow is finally the day Eli gets to come over again. YAY! It's been almost 2 weeks. :( Chetta :)