BlogSpot

          I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted anything on my blog, I just didn't have anything important to say. I guess nothing excited happened, and there wasn't anything to rant about... Today I want to talk about relationships..              They always say that no relationship is perfect, and I'll tell you mine isn't perfect by far. We've been through so much, so many up and downs. Even with all the bad I wouldn't change a single minute of it.               Today though I find myself sitting here, tears in my eyes on the verge of crying, over something that more than likely isn't a problem but I am upset over it.           My partner got home from an important meeting and I am relaxing on the couch, he asked me if (lets say there name is Bill) Bill was here. I, of course, say no. He hasn't been here and I have no reason to lie about...

 5:43 P.M.           I have been working this past week since Tuesday at a new place (don't wanna listen the place for privacy reasons), it's easy work and I make $18 a hour. When I got home from work I got some amazing news! I can't share it because I don't want to share my private info too much. BUT it was amazing news, let's just say in 7-10 days it'll be the best day of my life.            At around 3:40 today my mood started to go south, I'm all sorts of grumpy and I feel so off. I don't know why and currently I feel like a piece of chopped liver, I'm sitting here in the kitchen and Eli is on the couch, he knows I'm cooking dinner yet still asked his grandpa to bring him over some ramen noodles to eat, then he is on the phone with his grandpa ignoring me all together, I tried to talk to him and he just ignored me and went straight back to his papa. It hurts.. Then Autumn got mad at me it felt like before work whe...

  9:13 P.M.           A little late to be writing this I know, but let me tell you I found out that I am an emotional cry baby. Honestly, I cried for like 30 minutes today over something that wasn't even there. It is getting out of hand. I want my hunny home so that I can be safe and protected again. I love and miss him so damn much.            I'm starting to feel like Autumn to the point where I hate being home it's boring but I'm scared to walk by myself. I have gotten better about being home by myself but I refuse to go outside by myself.            I am so thankful for my girl bestfriend, she never judges me and always lifts me up even when I'm crying about nothing. She puts up with me on a daily. I'm blessed to have her as my bestfriend of almost 6 years. I can't believe it's been that long, hot dang! God Bless! That's all for now sorry it's so short I'm not in the mood to real...

 5:00 P.M. Writing this is a much needed relief today. Last night was a rough night for me. I went to work and everything was fine but as soon as I got home my whole mood shifted. I didn't feel like the same person I was just 20 minutes before hand. I asked if Eli could come over and got told they weren't sure, then about a hour later I got a definite no. That made me cry truthfully. I'm not all too sure why but it did. I cried for a while, about how none of what is happening to my family and I is fair. How I want my hunny home so damn bad, it hurts that he's not. I've been staying strong but sometimes I break down and cry about it to relieve some pain. After I found out Eli couldn't come over I went to my bed and laid down. I was completely done with the day. I was exhausted and just done. I set an alarm for 7:50 pm because I had a video call with my hunny. I woke up at 7:40 pm went to the bathroom and thought I had slept through the night that I missed the cal...

7:07 P.M.           Today was a pretty good day. I started a new job last Monday so I've already been there for a week! I actually like it there the people are so nice. Everyone actually talks to me unlike the last place. The money at the last place was nice but at this place as long as I work everyday the hours they want I make 15$ a hour!! So really it's not too much less than the other place.            Eli has been over everyday this week. He brings me so much joy honestly, I love the fact that he likes to come hang out with me. That we are getting some kind of bond since I'm his soon to be stepmom! Crazy!            When I think about it I never thought that I'd be where I'm at in life now. If you told me all this would happen to me back when I was 19-20, I would have thought you were crazy. I found the love of my life and I'm working on growing my little family with him. I would hav...

 7:36 P.M.           Today I got a text from my temp agency & the factory was delayed another week so I just told them to find me a new job because I cannot continue to sit here and not get paid any kind of money. My unemployment hasn't been approved yet, my bills are falling behind & I'm completely stressed about all of it. I now work from 5am-130pm for $14 a hour with a $1 attendance bonus a hour. I'm just ready to go back to work. God Bless.           The only things that help take my mind off anything is playing sims, or watching some kind of tv show. I've been hooked on the tv show Shameless & I'm not sure why because it's not my usual type of tv show but I like the idea of how many kids live in the house & how they can come & go as they please.            Eli just called me a buttox? I'm not even sure what that is. He also just told me that he has held his p...