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5:00 P.M. Writing this is a much needed relief today. Last night was a rough night for me. I went to work and everything was fine but as soon as I got home my whole mood shifted. I didn't feel like the same person I was just 20 minutes before hand. I asked if Eli could come over and got told they weren't sure, then about a hour later I got a definite no. That made me cry truthfully. I'm not all too sure why but it did. I cried for a while, about how none of what is happening to my family and I is fair. How I want my hunny home so damn bad, it hurts that he's not. I've been staying strong but sometimes I break down and cry about it to relieve some pain. After I found out Eli couldn't come over I went to my bed and laid down. I was completely done with the day. I was exhausted and just done. I set an alarm for 7:50 pm because I had a video call with my hunny. I woke up at 7:40 pm went to the bathroom and thought I had slept through the night that I missed the cal...